This is something I can so relate to. I have been trail lead at 4wd events for several decades. Sometimes I question why I do this. I'm so going to agree with what's here with a few modifications.
I will start with this though. YOU as trail lead need to do a few things, so I'm going to start with what you need before you lead. This is very important if your leading groups of people you don't know. I still do this with my friends though.
1. Walk the line. Who is going, do the rigs look in good shape. Are they by themselves or with a couple of other rigs.
2. Driver meeting. Cover what's going to happen, who is tail gunner (This person needs a very good radio), terrain, safety, rules, driving etiquette and who to see if they have issues (large groups need several helpers). Find out who the newbies are and sometimes recruit experienced (looking) people to help.
3. You need to know the route very well. Small group of friends exploring doesn't count.
4. Have two radios or a dual band radio. Trail crew on one and general chit chat on other.
5. Use the radio. Point out things that are interesting, history of the area, light banter.. on the chat freq. I absolutely hate driving for hours and hear nothing.
6. Understand the group. The more you have the slower you go and the longer your breaks are. Have contingencies. The planned route is fifty miles before camp. You have 20 rigs, you made it 15 miles and its lunch break. You better have another spot to camp. Remember, leading 20 plus rigs is like herding cats....with firecrackers.
7. Be patient. If you cant, dont lead.
8. This is actually one of the most important item. If you get lost, don't say anything, just play it off. I've helped other groups as much as I've led. On one of the trips the lead got lost and apologized. Some people got pissed. Not sure why but the gave the lead a bunch of grief. I've missed turns and had to modify the route. Just go with it.
I'm sure there's a few things I've forgotten but you get the point.
Now, how to piss me off as trail leader.
#1. Whining. OMG this is so #1. Yep. This is covered in driver meeting.
#2. Deciding you're in charge. This sooo covered in driver meeting
#3. Not having the required equipment, or the wrong equipment. (or the correct but not working equipment) This is not only covered in the driver meeting but before the meeting this is why you walk the line and look at everything.
#5. Deciding we're going too slow. I don't know if I've ever had this issue. I have had people leave the group so, maybe? I have had real slow people to the point where the tail gunner ended up leading a group of real slow people. I assigned another tail gunner for my group. This is why your "helpers" need to be self sufficient and know the itinerary.
A common thing you see here is how important it is to walk the line and have a driver meeting before hand. My average large group was around 30 vehicles. 40 being not uncommon and largest being almost 100. My multi day to week long trips are limited to 6 but I will allow 10 if its the right group. My record on a 5 day trip was 15? (ish).
Being a trail lead is fun. Being a "Volunteer" trail lead at an event is real fun but, people pay to get into the event. You don't get paid to lead and its alot of work. The people in the group expect a bit of professionalism in the people they "paid" to lead them.
Thank-you for taking the time to put your thoughts into words! Nice to know I'm not the only one. I guess I keep doing it because it is fun, and I get to introduce folks to overlanding, or get to take folks on trips they otherwise wouldn't do on their own.
A lot of this I think boils down to
expectation management. I do my best when I post up a Rally Point for a trip, to put as much info up front as possible. Here's an example from my last trip (read posts 1 -12 and you'll get the idea why I might be referred to as a Drill Sergeant).
Link:
US Northwest - Idaho BDR (and then some!) | OVERLAND BOUND COMMUNITY
I do this so folks can know what to expect before they sign up (expectation management). And so when we meet-up at the Rally Point on D-Day, I'm not spending an hour going over stuff (cause by that point, folks just want to hit the trail) and I feel like I kinda know some of the participants already from their posts on the Rally Point leading up to the actual date. I do go over the highlights though. But some folks will still whine as the trip progresses. On my text trip, I will be sure to emphasize "No Whining" on the Rally Point where they sign-up.
I ask folks that when they sign up on the Rally Point, to tell us a little about themselves... overlanding experience, their vehicle, etc.
Usually my trips are multi-day trips with a max of 10 vehicles. Which causes some folks to complain we have too many vehicles, but that's for another post.
I agree with all your points; unfortunately I'm not always able to do all of them. Specifically about knowing your route well. I wish I had the time to pre-run all my trips, but work and life (and thank God I have an understanding wife to do what I can do) don't allow that luxury. So I will mention more than once leading up to the departure date that I haven't pre-run the route, I don't know where we'll be spending the night every night even if I had pre-run the route, I don't know how far we'll be traveling every day, and that all this is part of the adventure on this trip... sign up at your own risk. Of course I've done a lot of research on the route prior to posting the trip on OB as a Rally Point. And having GPS routes downloaded (I use GIA) is a game changer. It'll show potential camp sites, fuel stops, points of interest, etc. And even with GPS on both a phone and tablet at my side with the route to follow, I think I've yet to have a day where I didn't miss at least one turn.
I do have a drivers' meeting on day one, and every morning after that before we head out. It helps set the tone.
Sometimes I'm not the only one who's tired and cranky at the end of the day, and it shows. That's my failure.
As an aside, if it is a long multi-day trip, I try to find out who might be interested in getting practice on being tailgunner, or being the trail leader (I don't have an ego problem thinking I always have to be up front). My usual requirement is you have to be a tailgunner for a day or so (after watching a good tailgunner in practice for a day or so) before coming up front and leading the group (with me as the back-up of course). Sometimes I'll let someone have a day or two as tailgunner, then we'll switch and I'll be tailgunner and they can be up front. This way they learn how to depend on their tailgunner because they've been there, and they've paid attention to what the trail leader is doing up front. It just mixes it up, and makes it more fun for some folks who want to do more than just follow.